Fail the fail

I guess the FailBlog.org is predominantly populated by Americans, so... here's to them and what they vote in.

Be it noted that I just discovered the vote page, where the unfiltered content comes in, so I'm wading my way back through the sights unseen, presently making my way through last November. And now I see what's submitted and what's voted in.

So, things which are not fails, but you fail to understand:

• Dick is a regular name; in Germany, it means thick or fat - get over it
• Gross is also a regular German word, it means big or wholesale. It's only in American English that it sounds derogatory. Get over it.
• Ass is "ace" in several languages. Now you know.
• Other languages may mangle your words, just like you do with theirs. So "spermint" is completely legal in Hungarian, and probably pronounced "shpermint", so what. We aren't posting every occurence of the word "dupe" all over the Serbian net just because it means "butt" in Serbian. It's just not funny enough.
  
• Ho is a regular Korean name. Besides, how can a name be a failure? I'd accept the weird combinations of first and last name as the parents' bad idea, a failed joke. Anyway, making fun of names is a fail.
• You may think that your action figures (aka dolls by any other name) must be packed in exactly the proper packaging and labeled correctly; most of the world doesn't give shit if one confuses Batman America for Captain Superman or vice versa, if Duffy Duck is labeled as Disney etc etc. It's too irrelevant to be funny.
• Anything remotely resembling a dick is not automatically funny.
• Any two figures where the one in front is bent do not necessarily imply a screw from behind. Some do, but, please, find which ones are these and spare us the rest.
• Google fails are not to be blamed on Google - its other shortcomings aside, the suggested options reflect the statistically frequent searches. So it's people who type such questions on Google. Don't blame the mirror. Or, if you expect any website to start censoring user generated content, good luck.
• Any innuendo in a store name or advertising is, well, a good marketing trick, and you fell for it. "We have worms in the back" is not a fail at all - it worked, you passed it on to wider public, right? It's a win.
• On the issue of the numerous videos of (mostly) teenage guys trying out martial arts, parkour, or stunts on trampolines, on anything that has wheels or slides on snow - well, most of them are not interesting after you saw a few dozen, but I don't mind seeing them, hoping that kids will see them and get it from their asses into their heads (which is Serbian for "finally realize") that these stunts are dangerous. You can break something, including your head, spine and whatnot, ending on wheels, with parking privileges and special ramps for your wheels.
  

On the other hand, I applaud your serious mocking of any sign which abuses quotation marks. When they say

to our "valued" customers

it's 50:50 that whoever wrote it completely skipped the class when they learned the meaning of quotation marks vs openly insulting the customers. I would welcome anyone who can post a picture of that white-on-blue plate on Walmart's cash registers, where it says that they will

...card anyone who looks likely to be less than "40" years old...

I tried to get hold of one of those, but they didn't have a spare, and I generally never took my camera there... I'm not there anymore, and, luckily, there is no Walmart here, so, please...